All Parts Included!

Today we had our anatomy ultrasound (i.e 20 week one). As Jason said, "it was the most amazing 30 minutes of my life". It was pretty exciting to see Nugget moving around and know all his parts are there.

HIS PARTS???

Don't read into it. We told the tech we didn't want to know the gender, so we were not told. She knows and said if we ever change our minds, it's on record there, but does not go on my chart. I still think it's a boy, so I'm going to refer to Nugget as a he.

Nugget has all toes, fingers, limbs, chambers of the heart, kidneys, etc. All my insides look good as well. She said the placenta is in the normal spot and shame on the midwives for calling it previa that early on. Phew!

She took many, many shots of Nugget, but only gave us a few. How babies develop and grow is absolutely amazing to me. I told her I haven't felt any movement yet. She wasn't surprised and shared based on the position of the placenta, it might be a few more weeks for Nugget to kick through to the point where I feel it.

I feel so relieved that Nugget is "perfect" as far as the ultrasound would show. Now it's time to register at the hospital, paint the nursery, and finally allow myself to be excited that we are going to have a baby around May 24th! (she confirmed my due date is right on).

Anatomy Ultrasound

Someone HAS to be right!

The midwife today said she thinks we're having a girl after listening to the heartbeat. Amy- it's 155-160. Keep in mind last time we were there, that midwife (different than today) said a boy.

The anatomy ultrasound is next week! We're really hoping no one slips and we can keep this as a surprise.

My guess- a boy. I don't have any reason why except I want a boy first to look after his younger sister(s). Just like how Jason looks after his younger sister (excuse me while I choke on my water)

Maternity Clothes

Today I gave in and bought my first two maternity items. As someone who has stayed the same size for the past 10 years, I don't see the need to buy new clothes every season. This was convenient when I changed schools every year or two. Now that I've been at RP for 5 years, I'm realizing I've been wearing some of the same clothes for all 5 years. I'm positive my students are noticing.


I'm in a little bit of denial that I have to purchase clothes. I've done all the tricks- the hair band to keep my pants closed and belly bands. While both are still working, I felt I needed to get a pair of jeans I can at least zip! I bought jeans today that solve the belly issue, but now they are too long. Oh the joys of being short.


I'm quickly realizing I'm on my own for maternity clothes. I was hoping someone would offer me some of theirs, but no such luck. When I asked some people I either hear, "oh, my stuff will be too big for you" or "so and so already has my stuff". Lovely. And my students thought they saw the same stuff year after year... wait until they see the same outfits day after day. Let's see how long I can stretch out (no pun intended) my normal, possibly 5 years old clothes, until I have no choice but to spend money on new clothes.


Some of you must think I'm nuts for not relishing the opportunity to buy new clothes. I really dislike shopping. I have to try everything on and then it's too long, too tight, would look better on someone 6 feet tall, etc. I usually leave empty handed and with a lower self-esteem. I wish I was a little bit taller (I wish I was a baller... I wish I had a rabbit in a hat with a bat...)

If any petite females feel sorry for me after reading this post and want to help a fellow shortster out, holler!

Preparing for Parenthood

Jason and I are starting to plan for the nursery. Jason's boss recommended a great baby store in Gaithersburg for furniture. We made the hour plus trek yesterday to Great Beginnings. It looked a tad shady on the outside, but inside was just what we needed. They had the furniture set up in painted, decorated rooms and all the supplies were ORGANIZED appropriately. I Hate Babies R Us with a capital H. I have been there numerous times to buy shower gifts and the layout never makes sense to me. Maybe it is our store on ghetto route 40, but it has totally turned me off to that store. Great Beginnings was GREAT! They even have a men's lounge that plays sports for Dads that need a break from stimulus overload :)

We spent 2 hours there talking with the owner about how to pick our furniture, what's important, etc. We got lots of decorating ideas and talked with him about what we could do with cathedral ceilings. We did not purchase anything yet, but we do have 3 sets we like and narrowed down the decor to 3 colors schemes.

After taking the Washington Beltway home... for anyone that has been on the road know how exhausting that is in itself, we were pooped. I had a horrible headache all day and Jason was starving, so we picked up subs and headed home.

As I am frantically getting the subs on the table and getting myself hydrated, Jason calls to my attention a blood trail through our house. As Parker struts into the kitchen, we quickly realize it's him. Keep in mind my head is throbbing, Jason is ready to faint he's so hungry, and now our dog's paw is bleeding. Once we pinned him down, we discovered the bottom of his paw (that black stuff that reminds me of the bottom of shoes) was torn. Uh, what do we do?

We had a ton of gauze from when Jason sliced his finger, so we quickly wrapped Parker's paw to stop the bleeding. Taking him to our vet was not an option. It was after hours, so the emergency vet was our only hope. I had a student's parent tell me years ago to let your dog die instead of taking them there. This parent is a millionaire and was still angry about how much they charged him to take his dog there. Sorry Parker, we had to figure this out on our own.



Poor Parker, he was limping around not sure what to do with his leg wrapped. We cleaned up as much of the blood as we could find and snarfed down our sandwiches. We were also out of our dog friendly carpet cleaner, so now we have toxic chemicals on our floor for him to lick.



As Jason and I grumbled at how unfortunate this situation was, I realized we are in for a rude awakening with kids. My headache and hungry level doesn't matter to them. If they throw up, we need to put everything aside and deal with it. I had one of those, "what are we getting ourselves into?!" moments. All we wanted to do was lay on the futon and watch our Netflix movie.



Parker has been a champ. Since he likes to lick his paws, we figured it was time for the lampshade. When we're not around to monitor him, the lampshade has to come on.




When we take him outside, we put a baggie over his bandage to keep it clean. He hobbles on 3 legs until we get to the street then he realizes he should just put his 4th paw down. It breaks my heart slightly.


Let's hope Parker's paw heals quickly! He's off to grandma's house on Christmas Day. He'll want to be lampshade free by then.

I'm a firm believer that dogs prepare you a tad for children. He has slowed down our social life & travel plans, emptied our bank account, and taught us to love unconditionally even if his eyes look unattractive. Parker will always be my first "child". For those people that don't have dogs- he is NOT "just a dog". Yes, I refer to Jason as "Daddy" and would never put Parker in a kennel. I am that annoying dog owner. I'm a push over when it comes to disciplining Parker. As Parker jumps on people and barks away, that's our fault. We didn't train him properly. I remind Jason periodically that we CANNOT raise our children this way. We might have spoiled, unruly brats. So we'll call Parker the spoiled first child. We hope to do better with our next! Thanks Parker for teaching us how to be better parents

First Snow

Today was our first measurable snow in Maryland. Here are the given events when this occurs:

1. At least one student will point outside and say "it's snowing!"
2. Traffic will be at a standstill
3. Schools will close
4. People will flock to the grocery stores for TP, eggs, and milk
5. Our street will be a mess


What really happened:

1. Kristin was "that student" for my 12:05 class.

2. It took me 1 hour and 45 minutes to get home (usually 25 minutes). It took me 1 hour to go 0.5 miles. I could not get to the highway fast enough. Our school is at the top of a hill, so one of the roads down to the highway was iced over and therefore closed. It was a nightmare. It took my friend 45 minutes to go to the other all girls' school TWO lights from our school.

3. Schools closed early, not mine of course

4. I went to Costco last night- I'd say by the lines at the gas station, people were planning for a big snow

5. Once I turned off route 40, each road got progressively snowier. Then the jack pot- our road untouched and horrible.


The good news- tomorrow is a half day and my LAST school day in 2010!

I am 16 going on 17

"How old is your daughter?"

"15 months"

This response always frustrated me. Why not say she is 1? I didn't understand why moms said ages in months. It's not like I say I am 358 months old. At what age do we move from months to years?

Now that I'm pregnant, each week number means a lot to me. Wow, 12 weeks. That was huge. 16 weeks sounds even better. Word is spreading among the students and more of them are saying congratulations and asking questions. Of course, the top two are when are you due and what are you having. I automatically say ____ weeks since every week is so important to me. Most students respond, "how many months is that?" Ok, so the tables have turned. Teenagers want months, not weeks. Can I remind you that I teach MATH. Hearing my students struggle with dividing 16/4 makes me cringe. I teach PreCALCULUS to these girls. Sigh.

I have been so consumed with making it to the next week, that I haven't realized I am 4 months pregnant. I'm not sure whether 16 weeks or 4 months sounds better. My pants are definitely getting snug. Co-workers and students comment they see a baby belly. I don't see the cute baby belly yet- more like a thicker waistline or some muffin top when I have on non expandable pants.

16 Weeks a.k.a 4 Months

2 disclaimers:

1. I am NOT sucking anything in.

2. Cameras add 10lbs.

I don't think I look pregnant yet. This picture is a little deceiving.

Going Beyond Western Medicine

I'm not a sickly being. I rarely used my health benefits beyond annual well exams. I quickly found out how frustrating health insurance companies and western medicine can be when I started having issues.

Exhibit A: 2 summers ago I had a strange GI issue. I felt as though there was some bigger issue going on, but no, I was referred right to a GI specialist. When I tried to piece together why it happened, no one listened to me and said there was no way it could be related to x. Not to mention the receptionist at my PCP was RUDE to me every time I called.

Exhibit B: When I went for my physical this summer I told my PCP I had a miscarriage. It was recent, so I cried when I told her. She immediately she I was depressed and wrote me a prescription for an anti-depressant.

Exhibit C: My insurance will pay for me to get anti-depressants but will not cover therapy or acupuncture. Go figure.

Exhibit D: A good portion of my students take some kind of medication to help them focus.


What is happening in our "western world"? Let me tell you how to focus- DON'T JOIN FACEBOOK. Turn off your cell phone, TV, and I-Pod. DUH! Our doctors are so overworked that they just solve our problems by giving us medication. No one has time or cares to look at the bigger picture and give us a plan for how to live a healthy life (or at least I haven't found the right doctors yet). My insurance company follows suit- they support you if you take medication, but don't if you look for alternative medicine.

Deep breath, Marisa

Enter acupuncture

I LOVE acupuncture. I love that my acupuncturist actually read over the 4 pages of medical history I wrote down. How many times have I called my mom to ask her the medical history of our family to fill out those papers sent to me before my visit- MANY. Then the doctor doesn't even acknowledge anything I wrote on there. I digress.... My acupuncturist CARED about everything that has ever happened in my life. Score.

I think the whole idea of acupuncture is fascinating. Chinese medicine has been around a LONG time and back then they didn't have all the fancy smancy equipment we have these days. Yet, they know how to stop migraines, turn a breeched baby, and fix many heart and digestive diseases. Why doesn't everyone do acupuncture and why did no one suggest this to me years ago? Oh, that's right, we just go right to the pills.

My acupuncturist listens to my "pulses". Our body is made up of meridians and she treats me based on my symptoms and how out of balance I am. I've gone 4 times and she has put needles in my head, stomach, legs, feet, and back (not all at the same time). She burns a spongy type substance on my stomach, feet, and back. I love that she is listening to my symptoms AND listening to my body and treating based on the entire picture. As someone that dreads getting blood drawn, the needles are tiny and I rarely feel them. You are laying down so you don't even see them going in.

Why am I doing acupuncture? I want to know that I am doing everything I can to keep this pregnancy. She treats my anxiety, my racing mind when I lay in bed, any pregnancy symptoms, and overall puts my body back in balance. I feel so much calmer inside, my negative symptoms haven't made an appearance in a week, I sleep soundly every night. I feel more in control. As I progress through my pregnancy, she will continue to assist me. Like I said earlier, she can make the baby turn for delivery, induce labor if I'm overdue, lessen my back pain, and keep me sane!

I HIGHLY recommend acupuncture. If you are not getting answers for some illness or issue, acupuncture may be able to solve it.

Doppler to hear heartbeat $20/month
Therapy $115/week
Acupuncture $85/week
Dog sitter so I can go to these weekly appointments $10/day
A happier and healthier Marisa - EXPENSIVE (thanks Carefirst for your lack of help) but hopefully worth it :)

Evil Cycle of Fear

Some women are miserably sick through pregnancy and hate it, some women absolutely love it, I live each day in fear. Will lightning strike twice? I had a few moments of sheer panic last week that have made my fear factor even higher. Why do the same symptoms have to be symptoms of pregnancy AND miscarriage? And why do I have 5 "good" symptom free days then 3 "bad" days? And why can my OB office give me zero help or reassurance? It's not like they haven't seen hundreds of pregnant women through the years. The books tell me to call my doctor when I have x symptom. I do and they tell me to just wait and see; there is nothing they can do.

After experiencing this evil cycle of 5 good days and 3 bad days for weeks in a row, I've taken measures into my own hands. I signed up for acupuncture and I ordered us a doppler. More about acupuncture in another post. The doppler is a device that the doctors use to hear the heartbeat. I figure I could save myself the trip to the useless midwives if I could hear the heartbeat myself.

The doppler is the best use of $20 a month. Not only does it reassure me that Nugget is still alive, but has also allowed Jason to feel more included. We listen to Nugget almost every day. It's a special moment for us. We are 99% sure we are hearing Nugget. Wouldn't that be funny if we were just hearing my gas? We are renting a doppler that can record the heartbeat. Eventually we will record and post if we can figure it out. Stay tuned!

16 week belly pictures coming soon.

Administrative Business

I take it if you are reading this post, then you are accessing our blog just fine. I'm not sure what happens when your 30 day trial ends. Let me know if I need to re-invite you or if you switch to a gmail account, I may need to add your email address to the list. Also, if you know of anyone else that wants access to our blog, I'm happy to add them after a quick background check.

Next item of business- I have officially told all important administrators that I am pregnant and want to take a leave of absence for the 2011-2012 school year. It is pretty surreal to think after 8 years of teaching I will not be returning in the fall. I'm looking forward to staying at home for at least a year and seeing what the next few years have in store for our family. Getting rid of the stress of teaching will be a blessing. Losing my salary, however, doesn't make me feel warm and fuzzy. The beauty of being a math teacher, besides it's easy to get a teaching job, is the ability to make a good bit of money tutoring.

15 weeks down! Please vote for boy or girl at some point. We are not finding out the sex. Guess along with us!

Peace of Mind

I had some concerns this morning that led to a last minute midwife appointment. Luckily she found the heartbeat quickly and said everything looked fine to her. She asked if I wanted a sonogram for extra reassurance. Uh, YES! What crazy pregnant woman would turn down a chance to see what's really going on inside?

I waited for 1 hour, but the result was well worth the wait. It was all good news- the nugget is growing, good heartbeat, and better yet, the placenta moved! (if you don't know the back story, don't worry about it. The placenta moving is really good!) I feel so much better even though I didn't get an answer why I had some issues this morning. Oh well, I'm so thankful to see our nugget again before 20 weeks. Unfortunately, Jason was not with me on this visit, so he missed the fun stuff. We are really excited about our newest shot of the nugget.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

14 weeks

My Fan Club

There are many differences between being a public school teacher and a private school teacher. One aspect of my job as a private school teacher that is foreign to me is being an advisor. I still don't think I fully understand this role that is 20% of my job. I have 9 girls that picked me as rising sophomores and I follow them through senior year. I taught many of my advisees as freshmen in Intro, our lowest math class. These girls think highly of me and I've formed strong relationships with at least half of them.

Sometimes I feel like some of my advisees and students are my best friends. They love to hear about my life and tell me about their families, boyfriends, and struggles with adolescent issues. I quickly realized being a private school teacher is very special; I never felt this close to any of my public school kids. They play funny April Fools Jokes on me, they laugh at my corny jokes, and pretty much make my job enjoyable. I think we're a pretty good looking group. Here was prom last year.



This year's senior class holds a special place in my heart. Not only are my advisees now seniors, but I've watched this group grow up over the last 4 years and have taught a good majority of them. As much as I want to leave Baltimore at times, I wanted to stay long enough to see my girls graduate. And of course our baby is due 2 weeks before graduation. Sigh.

I really wanted to tell my advisees before they started to wonder based on my growing midsection. As I was going over announcements today, I emphasized that May 24th is important because my baby was due that day. Tears of joy and loud screams followed. The girls were elated. There was way more excitement than I expected. One girl had her mouth open the entire time, another could not stop crying (I confided in her about my miscarriage. We are that close), others couldn't stop smiling, others clutched their hearts with happiness. It was a touching moment for me.

I expect the news to spread like wildfire. As one of my favorite ex-students walked in a period later, I fully expected her to know. Surprisingly she didn't. More screaming, more hugs. She said she was going to plan my shower during her upcoming class.

Working at an all girls school has been such a rewarding experience for me. I like being complimented, I like when people tell me how great I am. Doesn't everyone though? As I walk through the hallway with flowers from Jason, they ooh and ahh for days. I'm going to live up this pregnancy thing at school. I know these girls are sincerely happy for me and they will keep this pregnancy real and exciting for me.

Still Cooking!

We had our every 2 week reassurance appointment with a midwife today. She found the nugget's hearbeat immediately with the doppler and quickly indicated we are having a boy. She said girls don't cooperate, so it must be a boy. She answered our questions, shared some changes that might happen in the next few weeks, and told us that she has a 50% of being right about us having a boy.

We figure we are out of the woods, so we're giving it 5 weeks before we go back. Yikes!


...How about the Eagles!?!

Weekend in Philly

We had an eventful weekend in the Philadelphia area. We had four main tasks:

1. My college roommate Jackie's baby shower
2. Spend some time with my mother in law (MIL)
3. Tell Jason's dad in person our news
4. Meet Luke, Todd & Lisa's baby

Jackie's baby shower was very PINK! It's amazing how much pink stuff you receive when you tell people you are having a girl. It was fun to see Jackie's growing belly and spend the afternoon with 2 of my 3 college roommates.

The one thing I've learned quickly about my MIL is she has mad shopping skills. This woman has one strict policy- she doesn't buy anything full price. She also has no problem buying 4 mirrors and 3 rod iron wall hangings with the intention of returning 5 of the items. We debated, hung, returned, bought and debated again over the wall decorations in 3 rooms this weekend. Jason's reaction to his mom's buy/return/debate method was enough to keep us all laughing. Most decorations are up. I think we made great decisions!

We met Jason's dad and Paula for dinner on Saturday night. Suddenly in week 13, nausea is making an appearance. I was waiting for Jason to break the news so I could share I wasn't feeling well and nothing was sounding good on the menu. Finally, he shared that we were busy going around telling people they were going to be aunts and grandparents. I think Jason's dad said at least 10 times that our "news was fantastic". It was very cute and it gave us a lot to talk about over dinner.

On our way back to MD, we met 2 week old Luke Patrick. He was very sweet and didn't scare me too much about having a baby. I am amazed how clean and organized Todd & Lisa's house has remained even after getting a dog and having a baby. I need to take a few lessons from them! I was pleased Parker was more interested in going through Shamrock's dog toy bin than sniffing Luke. He was curious, but better behaved than we thought.

We made it up and back in under 2 hours. We were due for an easy trip on I-95.

Our next doctor appointment is on Tuesday. We're anxious to hear a heartbeat.

The magic number TWELVE!!

I kept saying, "just make it until 12 weeks". Well, I'M HERE! It's kind of like your birthday or New Years. All this hype and then the day comes and you think you'll feel different, but you don't. This whole thing isn't real to me yet. Jason and I don't talk about it much because we are hesitant to get excited. I don't look pregnant and I don't feel pregnant. I'm glad my chances of a miscarriage have decreased drastically at this point. I'm ready for some other sign the nugget is still growing and healthy! I guess I'll have to wait until Dec 30th for our "big ultrasound"

I have been blessed with very few pregnancy symptoms. I kept telling Jason I wanted to feel something! I puked one day for 6 hours straight, which ended up being the 24 hour stomach bug. I decided to never wish for nausea again just to prove I was pregnant.

I have been extremely tired, but that could be a FUNction (sorry, that's what I write on the board every time I talk about FUNctions to my 11th and 12th graders. They love my attempt to make math FUN!) of getting up at dark thirty 5 days a week and dealing with needy teenagers all day. Recently I have more energy and can make it past 9pm in the evenings.

Not sure my body has changed much. I think my stomach is getting bigger, but again, that could be a FUNction of not working out anymore. Yes I know, I should be exercising to help with everything. I am enjoying a break from trying to keep a thin body for once in my life. Walking the dog is enough exercise for now.

I will blame my ever changing moods on pregnancy. Poor Jason for dealing with my barking orders and snotty comments. I will say that Jason has been much calmer with my attitude than normal. I guess he thinks I can't help it :)

No major cravings. I have been more willing to eat foods I would try to avoid in my pre-pregnancy life. Heluva Good Dip and chips is my snack of choice these days. I didn't think twice about eating a hot fudge sundae tonight. I still eat healthy- don't get your panties in a twist that I'm "letting myself go" completely. I've got this under control. The world is going to end in 2012, I'm going to enjoy my last two years... j/k :)

We didn't retake belly shots at the beginning since I didn't look much different than the ones we took in May. Here's the start of my growing belly. Bring it!

12 Weeks

The Joys of Home Ownership

When I was in elementary school, two events scarred me for life.

1. A house in a nearby neighborhood got struck my lightning and resulted in a fire. The family was not home at the time, but luckily a neighbor called the fire department before the house burned to the ground.

Result- I'm terrified of thunderstorms, mostly because I'm afraid my house will get struck by lightning and burn to the ground.

2. The episode of The Hogan Family where a lamp in the attic somehow starts a fire.

Result- After we put boxes in our attic, I ask Jason if he turned out the light. I do open the stairs from time to time just to make sure it is off.

Both of these stories show my fear of fire. As I fall asleep at night I will think about things, like did I turn off the stove? When I drive to school- did I turn off my straightener? I will tiptoe downstairs often to see if the stove is really off. It always is. I drive home to check my straightener. It's always off.

While a light in the attic or lightning have not sparked a fire, we have almost caught our house on fire twice.

We were having Jen & Matt for lunch on their drive back to NC. We decided to have burgers and other BBQ type food. I put eggs in a saucepan to use for deviled eggs. When the timer went off, I didn't believe the eggs were fully cooked, so I left the stove on but did not reset the timer. We left for church and after being away from the house for almost 2 hours, I realized I never turned off the stove. I know I say I am having a "panic attack" often. I really believe I was moments away from a serious panic attack. We quickly called our neighborhood to go into our house. We peeled out of the parking lot and raced home. I never felt so guilty in my life. Parker was in his crate. Did I just kill our sweet dog? Did I burn down our house?

The damage: Yes, the water completely evaporated and the eggs exploded over our kitchen. The house was filled with smoke. Our dog was alive, but VERY scared. And it smelled like burnt eggs in our house for days. Parker freaks out every time I cook something that sizzles or makes a little smoke/steam. I don't blame him. I also never leave eggs boiling if I don't plan on staying in the kitchen the entire time. We also bought 2 fire extinguishers

Fire hazard story 2. I have read numerous times that you should never run your dryer when you are not home. I abide by this rule. I don't even like going to bed with stuff in the dryer. This past Thursday I had jeans in the dryer and it was going to be a while until they were finished. I decided to go against my policy and go to bed.

Jason emails me the next morning to tell me the dryer was STILL running when he got up for the gym at 4:30. Environmentally friendly me could only think that we wasted electricity for at least 7 hours. Then it dawned on me. We could have burned our house down, AGAIN! AND my jeans are already a little tight, are they going to be midget size after being in the dryer for 8 hours?

The damage: Jeans are fine. Dryer is dead. We bought a new washer and dryer this weekend. To be delivered today during the Eagles game.

This means we have officially replaced almost every appliance in our house. 5 years, 7 appliances. The only thing left "to go" is the sump pump. Luckily the plumber that was over to check our new water heater that was leaking, said it looked fine. We keep joking that we can't move fast enough. What's next, the deck falls off the back of the house? Ah, the joys of home ownership.

The Most Important Thing

I'm hoping I am starting to get some readers and not just myself! Welcome!! I guess I left out one piece of key information- my due date. As of now, May 24th.

Telling Our Parents and Sisters

Jason and I are fortunate to have two sets of undemanding parents. Our parents have never begged for grandchildren or asked us when we were having them. I think other adults in our lives are more anxious about it than our parents. We know our parents would be supportive if we decided to have zero kids or 15. I am so thankful for their lack of grand baby demands.

It's important for us to tell our families in person, if at all possible. Jason's mom, Jackie, was flying out of BWI and therefore staying at our house overnight. Even though I was only 9 weeks, we figured it was a good time. Jackie recently had her house repainted, so asking her for room color advice was timely. Jason presented her with very girlie pink and boyish blue paint samples and asked for her advice on color for the 3rd bedroom. She was surprised and elated.

Jason is not a regular communicant with his family. His mom and sister knew something was up when Jason sent out of the norm emails and texts. They didn't suspect pregnancy though. Jason's sister, Jen, was next on our list since Jackie and Jen were traveling to Indiana together. We told Jen over the phone that she was going to be an Aunt.

My family was next. My mom was bringing my niece, Hannah, back to Maryland after a weekend in Lancaster. I arranged for Laura to meet at my house. I brought up starting to think of Christmas gifts then transitioned to a great gift for Hannah's 3rd birthday (which is in May). I said we weren't sure if it would be delivered (haha) on time, but she was getting a cousin. It took my mom and sis a minute to process, then the screaming began. Poor Hannah wasn't sure what was going on and started sobbing. Since my dad didn't make the trip, I called him to tell him the news.

It has helped me to remain more positive and excited now that most of our family knows. I was a little worried about the element of surprise since we already broke the news that we were trying and had no luck. I think we still pulled off a surprise since we had given everyone the message we were done thinking of babies and moving on with life for a while.

So there you go. We are meeting with Jason's dad in a few weeks to tell him in person.

A plethora of ultrasounds

We have been blessed with weekly ultrasounds for the past 4 weeks. Some woman are lucky to have two throughout her pregnancy. Advantage Marisa for already working with the fertility doctors and going through a miscarriage. They feel sorry for you and try to give you as much reassurance as possible.

It's fun to see our little nugget (we haven't figured out our name for the little one yet. Jason likes zygote. I don't) getting bigger and looking more like a person than a blob.

1st Trimester Ultrasounds

2nd time is a charm?

For those of you who have known me a long time know that I never touched alcohol until I was 21. Then I met Jason and I turned 21... and I found a new love for adult beverages. I am also a teacher. I learned quickly that teachers love happy hour and to drink wine almost every night. It comes with the job. I think more of my college friends drank more AFTER college once they became teachers.

The day we got the news that there was no heartbeat, I took up drinking again. I thoroughly enjoyed one last night in MD with our dear friends Erin and Brian drinking everything left over from their house (they moved to Boston :( ) and hitting up many breweries in Colorado. After our trip to CO, I needed a break from beer. My new drink of choice became Disaronno Amaretto and Coke. Yum!

We were out of Disaronno and decided to restock for a happy hour filled weekend at home. School just started- enough said. The liquor store didn't have the normal size we buy, so we opted for the 1.75 liter mammoth Disaronno. We figured we would drink it all eventually. The cashier even asked us if we really like Disaronno or if we were buying because of lack of options. We replied in unison "both". After restocking the beer fridge and bar, I decided to take a pregnancy test before I had my first drink just in case.

Even though I have read the instructions at least 10 times on those tests, I still do not follow the "wait 2 minute" rule. I get frustrated and throw it out when I see a negative. For some reason, I let it sit there for a few minutes, and low and behold, it turned from negative to positive!

Well shoot. It would turn out this way. I finally stopped obsessing over figuring out my body and came to peace with our life without a baby. We would buy tons of yummy alcohol that day that I can't drink. So there you go... a major turn of events. We spent the night a little dumb founded, but excited. We did it on our own AND it wasn't planned. Yippee!!

So my drinking days came to a screeching halt. The bottle of Disaronno sits unopened. I am in a much better place emotionally for this pregnancy. Let's hope I make it full term!

Top 3 Worthy

Jason and I try to take at least one "big" trip every year, usually over the summer to celebrate our anniversary. We've traveled to many interesting places over the past 10 years together. My top three would be our honeymoon to Mexico, our trip to Nashville for New Years this past December, and our most recent trip to Colorado. These three places are completely different, but all matched our interests. Mexico allowed us to sit in the sun for 6 days and eat (until I got sick from the water), Nashville allowed us to listen to country music and drink beer at 10 am, and Colorado, well, the sky alone healed my broken heart.

In 5th grade I completed a "state report" on Colorado. Yes, it was an easy state to draw, but I had some early fascination with this state. It sounded beautiful and fresh. I didn't make it to Colorado until 2008 when I invited myself to my friend/co-worker's house near Denver. Luckily my buddy Erin had her 30th birthday ski weekend at Breck, so I had TWO reasons to be there besides that I just wanted to see this magical sounding place. Yep, it's amazing. I am obsessed with this utopia state and want to be there as much as I can.

I really wanted to attend this counseling conference I heard about my first year at RP. Conveniently it is held in Colorado Springs. All the stars aligned and despite "hard economic times", my school sent me to Colorado Springs for a week long conference. Naturally, I extended my trip to bring Jason back out to enjoy 10 full days in Colorado.

For anyone that lives in the mid-Atlantic knows it was hotter than blazes this summer. I think it was over 90 degrees with 200% humidity for 96.5% of the summer. I'm exaggerating a bit, but it was hot as hell. My hair looked like a frizzy mess and I could only walk Parker at 6am or it was too hot for both of us. Not to mention I just had a horrible July and was ready to get out of Baltimore for a while. When I saw it could go into the 50's at night in Colorado, I happily packed my sweatshirt and boarded the plane.

First stop, Fountain Valley School in Colorado Springs for my conference. The Stanley King Counseling Institute was just what I needed both professionally and personally. I was surrounding by amazingly thoughtful, caring, and just overall wondeful people. We laughed, cried, learned, and hung out in our little bubble for a week. We went up Pike's Peak, experienced some nightlife in Colorado Springs, and reflected, a lot.

Jason picked me up and we started a marathon 5 days of seeing as much as we could on the Front Range. We stayed in Colorado Springs for 1 overnight, Denver area for 2 nights, and Boulder for 1 night. We hiked, we took lots of pictures of the awesome sky and mountains, we drank beer from as many micro brews as possible, and enjoyed the picturouresque weather. We ate meals outside, we wore jackets and jeans at night (!!), and made the most of some much needed time together to heal after a tough summer.

Here's a little taste of our travels. I love Colorado.

Colorado - August 2010

Just like that... it's over

We spent so much time setting up our blog and writing about Parker that I didn't want to delete it. Even though no one is currently following our blog, I feel the need to write to hopefully relieve some steam.

On June 25th we went for our 8 week ultrasound. I knew before the doctor told us. I was incredibly sad on the drive to the doctor and was in tears before they even walked in. From our first ultrasound we knew what a heartbeat looked like. There was nothing flashing. My doctor went straight to the point, "it's not good. There is no heartbeat". BOOM. She said it was recent because our baby was the right size. Double boom. She left for us to react privately.

That's when the crying started and pretty much lasted for 24 hours. We planned to tell our parents happy news that day, but instead we had to tell them we were going through a miscarriage. It was pretty much the saddest day of our marriage.

Instead of just being in the "it took us a long time to get pregnant" club, we are now in the "we lost our baby" club. Both clubs have many members, but you don't often hear about them. Too many times we hear about the "we got pregnant on the first try!!" club. That club needs to know when to shut their mouths. They also need to know how hurtful those comments are to those of us not in that club. If I hear one more comment about how easy it is to get pregnant, I will flip, which is why I'm venting here.

Unless you've been through a miscarriage, you don't understand. Thanks for saying you are thinking of me, but it doesn't help. You had the joy of bringing your baby into this world, you went through a pregnancy, you had people shower you with gifts, you made your parents excited to be grandparents... I want to be there, but can't.

For my fellow club members, thank you for your support. To those with babies or pregnant, watch your words. You don't know who is going through a tough time.

Tribute to the 4 year old

Today the ruler of our house, our fuzzy friend, the "Boz", "Boz Butt", "P-Dizzle" or simply Parker turns four. I still call him a puppy because he is still just as cute as the day he first melted our hearts. Four years ago we talked about getting a pet because at that time Jason was traveling up to 6 months of the year. I needed a friend and protector. Little did we know that we would find a liter of 7 cocker spaniels when we picked up the key to my co-worker's cabin in WV.

The puppy years were tough at points, especially since I was a single mother for his first three months at our house. But Parker has enriched our lives as well others. I used to be hesitant and often straight out fearful of dogs. My mom never liked pets. All that changed with Parker. Even though he interferes with our traveling plans, Parker has been perfect for our first dog EVER. And we love him dearly.

Here are some Parkerisms:

1) The Elvis Lip

Parker took a liking to plastic bottles as a pup. As a result he has some crooked teeth. His lip gets stuck on this tooth, and wa la, Elvis returns!



2) The green ball

Not only does Parker like to play catch with his ball, he also MUST have it either in his bowl or near his bowl when he eats. We don't go anywhere without it



3) Cruisin'

What dog doesn't like to cruise in the car?



4)Loofah Dogs

Parker has an obsession with loofah dogs. We have probably spent over $200 buying these toys through the years. Parker tends to tear them apart within 5 minutes of receiving a new one. Here's the current "pile of shame"



5) He's a beer drinker

Parker enjoys the backwash from beer bottles. His favorite is corona. The lime makes him lick for minutes



6) Bully Sticks

Parker's favorite treat is called a bully stick. It smells, but he loves them. Check out the ingredient



7) He's a mama's boy

If Jason is sitting on the couch with Parker and I sit down, he will automatically move and sit as close to me (usually on top of me) as possible. No matter where I go, he follows me. I think I'll have some company for those midnight feedings!



8) "Pancake"

Laying on the ground with all four legs out is Parker's favorite position. Our neighbor came up with the term "pancake" for this look. Parker likes to keep an eye on the neighborhood for us.



9) Cone of Shame

Poor Parker has "cherry eye" and had to endure (more like we had to endure...) two eye surgeries. Parker had to wear the lampshade or as they call it in "UP", the cone of shame. Parker crashed into our shins and the steps for days until he realized he needed to lift his head. No cones for the last two years :)



10) Not photogenic

We torture our dog by taking many pictures of him. This includes random shots and forced poses for Christmas cards, fashion shows, and family portraits. Here is a collection of our favorites. We laughed so hard making this album. We love our Boz!

WARNING: Some of the following might be offensive to viewers.

4 years of Parker's "finer" moments!!

The Big Questions... Answered

It's interesting how people interact. You can predict the way certain people will great you. Either "hi, how are you?" or "what's new?" Our responses are usually the same. When you tell people you are engaged or they notice your ring, the first question is "when are you getting married". I'm expecting to hear two big questions over the next 9 months:

1.) When are you due?

2.) What are you having?


Answer to 1.) January 30, 2011.

Comments: For those of you who know me well know that my 30th (sigh) birthday is January 29, 2011. I always thought my mom was so old because she didn't have me until she was 30 (I'm the youngest). I never thought I would be starting at 30... I'd be happy if the baby arrived early so I could be a young 29 when I had him/her. However, I'm not OK sharing my birthday. I was hoping for some big trip to celebrate my 30th. An overnight in the hospital is not what I had in mind.

The end of January/beginning of February is a big birthday time in my family. All 4 of my grandparents, my mom, aunt, and I all have birthdays within 3 weeks. It's fun to have a huge party and list all 7 names as we sing happy birthday. The Little H-Camp will fit in nicely. We lost one member of our Jan/Feb club this year, my Poppop. My prediction is I will have the baby on his birthday, February 1st. It's a gut feeling I've had since we "tried" this time.

Answer to 2.) NOT FINDING OUT!!

Comment: I am organized and like to prepare; however, I figure out EVERYTHING. It's very rare I am surprised these days. This is one surprise I can't figure out and plan to embrace this opportunity. Personally, I think it's so exciting to get a phone call, email, or text when a new baby is born and find out for the first time if it's a boy or girl. It's going to drive me nuts registering not knowing what we are having, but I'll survive. We plan to paint the nursery very neutral. This isn't our forever house, so we're cool with a neutral room for now.

There you go! Can't wait to have everyone predict what I'm having by the way I look :)

6 week ultrasound

We went for our first ultrasound this morning. Even though I tried to prepare Jason for the set up, he still was a little bothered by the table/chair and stirrups. Honey, it's going to get much worse I'm afraid :)

I haven't had any symptoms, or at least anything that seems largely different than my normal feelings. We were both very anxious going into this appointment. Even though I was the first appointment for the doctor, he made us wait 5-10 minutes before he walked in.

The doctor and tech warned us it might take a minute or two to figure out what they were seeing. It felt like 5 minutes when I'm sure it was only 30 seconds. They kept saying something about a shadow. I saw something pulsing, so I knew we were OK. Jason, on the other hand, was probably breaking a sweat over the whole ordeal. The doctor then told us everything looked great. Of which my husband replies, "sh__!" in relief. Lovely J... nice touch. We need to work on swear words in stressful situations or everyone will get an earful in the delivery room.

I am so happy we have pictures of our little "zygote", as we will like to call it right now. I have a little more proof that this is really happening. We go back in 2 more weeks for another ultrasound. Apparently we will see a gummy bear.

School is over (except I'm teaching super stupendous summer math camp next week), I got paid "millions" for tutoring, Rita's had fudge brownie, AND there is something alive in me. Today was a GREAT day!

Confirmed Pregnant!

Today, May 26th, I received a phone call that I was pregnant. After months of seeing that dreaded negative sign, many doctor visits, blood tests, ultrasounds, it caught me off guard. Wait, what? Us, pregnant?! My head was spinning and I wanted to jump for joy; however, I was pacing in the courtyard outside my classroom on my cell phone and couldn't. Forget helping students prepare for my final exam, I was outta there!

I didn't know what to do. Do I call Jason and tell him at work? How will I tell him when he gets home? Within 15 minutes of knowing I called my trusted sister. Laura told me she was preggers soon after her first test, so it was only fitting that she should be the first to know. Yes, it is HORRIBLE I didn't tell my husband first, but I had 3 hours to kill people! The whole thing was very surreal. Going to college was fun, getting married to my best friend was easy, and teaching felt natural, but knowing there was something growing inside of me and telling someone was weird. Laura was thrilled, of course. Who doesn't love being an Aunt?!

I paced the house until Jason got home. Last month after a negative result Jason found me on the deck with half a bottle of wine gone. I decided to fool him by holding a glass of wine and give him sad eyes. My heart was racing when he walked in. He saw me and said "nope" under his breath. I told him the wine was for him because he needed to celebrate GOOD news. My hubby tends to shed a tear in emotional situations (remember our wedding?!), which I love. We hugged with tears in our eyes and said "I can't believe it" all night.

I needed to see the positive sign for myself. I secretly took a test and happily saw the positive sign appear. We keep the test in our bathroom to remind us every day that this is real. I want to take one everyday to make sure it is still true, but Jason reminds me that I'm going a tad overboard.

My friend, Aubrey, set up a blog when she moved to England which ended up being a baby blog. We obsessed over reading her updates and looking at her body change through the process. Even though she was far away, I knew more about her pregnancy than my own sister's! Aubrey's blog became a common topic of discussion at our dinner table. Aubrey's blog inspired us to do one when we had a baby. It's a great way to keep people informed and have all our memories together. We hope you will laugh, cry, and smile as you follow us through this amazing journey.

4 weeks