Labor & Delivery: Take 1

H2 decided to have a belated Labor Day celebration on Tuesday.  She (I'm using "she" in this post since girl is the underdog right now) wanted to make sure we could have a little scare around this LABOR day holiday.

After some spotting all weekend (sorry for the TMI to my male readers) paired with on and off back pain, both getting worse by Tuesday morning, it was time to call the OB.  They got me in 1 hour later.  Jason literally ran to his car and flew to the office to meet me. 

Dr. Holsey gave me the works- internal exam showed no signs of labor anytime soon, but after being on the monitors for 20 minutes, she saw some irregular, mild contractions.  I had no idea I was having any.  H2 was very active during the monitoring, so that was a positive sign.  She sent me for a sonogram where they found some blood in my uterus.  H2 is fine, placenta intact, and really no concern about the blood.  But they don't want it to cause contractions and put me into labor.  Lovely.

Jason and Evie were at home by this point because Dr. Holsey's initial reaction was nothing was wrong.  So I had to hear the bad news alone- go to Labor & Delivery for monitoring for a few hours. 

I grabbed lunch and headed to L & D where they were waiting for me.  I hung out in triage for 4 hours on the monitors.  I continued to have mild contractions, again, wouldn't know I was having them.  They said that might be why my back hurts.  Well great, my back hurts as I am typing this post, does that mean I'm having contractions??  Don't worry, I asked.  They aren't super concerned... back pain is very common and my contractions were so irregular and mild that it's probably just my body doing "normal" stuff.

I cried to myself about 3 times thinking I can't go through months at the hospital again visiting my struggling to eat baby.  Knowing someone that delivered at 24 weeks, I am really scared.  I was given a steroid shot to help H2's lungs develop in case I deliver before 34 weeks.  Dr. Hall didn't make it sound like it was a strong possibility, just precautionary.  Let me tell you, this shot was thick and hurts!  I had to get 2 doses in my butt.  It's nothing like insulin!

I was sent home with no restrictions.  All the nurses and doctors praised me for not blowing off my symptoms, they were both signs of preterm labor and it was best to check on things. 

So much for an easy pregnancy.  We live in fear again even though both Dr. Hall and Dr. Holsey aren't concerned.  Please pray with us that H2 stays comfortably planted in my belly for at least another 12 weeks. 

KKI

Evie is checked into rehab. She has her backpack with "Evie H." written on it ready to go to all her sessions tomorrow. She has a notebook in it with her schedule, goals, and notes. It's like my 12 week old is going to kindergarten. The staff at KKI welcomed Evie with love. There is also a lot of support and happiness for parents- like free massages on Wednesday, free bagels, a lounge with internet, and FREE parking.

Evie will be evaluated by everyone over the next few days. We will have a big pow-wow on Monday to discuss the plan. Sigh. So it will be at least 1 week there. Hoping for miracles and all of your prayers are answered.

Aunt Jen is here until Tuesday. Grandmom is coming for the weekend. Parker is living in Lancaster. Our neighbor that walks Parker is rallying the neighbors to get meals going. She brought us a bottle of wine tonight :)

I will be with Evie all day then come home to sleep and regroup. I will try to post some pictures and updates of our little student!

The funny thing- the resident at KKI is a doctor we met at St. Agnes a month ago. She remembered us! At least we didn't have to give her what happened during that hospital stay.

Rehab

"They tried to make me go to rehab, but I said no, no, no"

That song is cycling through my head. The doctors are JHH are pushing us to put Evie in rehab for her feeding issues at Kennedy Krieger Institute. Things have spun so far out of control for us that we keep waiting to wake up from this nightmare we are in. In my heart I think coming home and allowing Evie to be a "normal" baby would be best. But the doctors at JHH are jerks to us and don't seem to want to listen to the bigger story of Evie. It sounds like we don't have much choice and our little one will be transferred across the street to KKI on Thursday.

How long will she be there? Well, since our hospital visits get longer and longer with each admission, I'd say at least 2 weeks. Maybe months.

Jason and I are holding on my a thread. Evie has been home for 4 days this month. We are watching our baby girl grow up in a hospital bed. It breaks my heart that she has a closet of cute dresses we'll never see her wear. I can't hold her normally without worrying about pulling out her feeding tube or bothering her IV line.

No one can begin to understand the stress we've been under. I spend my day advocating for Evie and getting no where. While Jason is losing weight, I am an emotional eater and have packed on a nice gut with all of the unhealthy hospital food I've eaten and stress. I'm sure my doctors would find my glucose is high and I have a massive ulcer.

I don't know what else to say or do at this point. I keep hoping for a miracle now that Evie is 12 weeks old. Maybe she will "outgrow" this. But it looks like we'll be heading to rehab...

Fourth Time a Charm?

I know it's hard to believe, but we have been at Johns Hopkins Hospital with Evie since Wednesday night. Something came up on a test at Sinai that the doctors wanted us to check out again. We decided to go to the "best" and go to JHH.

We are beyond emotionally drained. Evie is back on a feeding tube and we feel like we've gone back weeks. The nurses actually forced me to come home tonight because I am such a basket case.

I don't really want to talk about it. Just wanted everyone to know why I haven't been posting or answering emails.

Who knows when we will ever be a family at our home again.

And by the way... we are not happy with the doctors at JHH. We wish we were at one of the smaller hospitals... We will be happy to give a full "best of" addition after our Baltimore hospital tour.

Johns Hopkins

GOING HOME!!!

It might be hard to believe, but we're cutting the cord and leaving this joint. There isn't anything else they can do for us here and the GI doctor is convinced that Evie doesn't have any GI issues. We are going to scratch the endoscopy tomorrow.

Kathleen, the speech therapist/ cranial sacral therapy lady, was here today. She felt a lot of tension in Evie's neck and helped Evie suck better. I think she will be very helpful! She will make a home visit tomorrow and we'll see her again hopefully a few more times before she goes out on vacation.

Aunt Jen and Uncle Matt are helping me out tomorrow then I'll reach out to school friends or anyone else willing to lend a hand.

Next time I post will be from HOME! I can't wait to sleep in my own bed :)

Evie 11 Weeks

Same old, same old

Nothing new to report. Evie was down to 8 lbs. 13 oz yesterday. Her nurse Linda was determined to hear that she went up this morning after a day of forced feeding. Miss Evie gained a little, she's up to 8 lbs. 14 oz. Linda is back with us today. That's good news here.

I'm probably illegally have another professional practice in the hospital today. I have Kathleen, that speech pathologist/cranial sacral therapist coming in soon. We are desperate right now. I think we may be in the hospital until she is 6 months old. I don't see any end to this. I keep hoping Kathleen will be my miracle worker.

Jason posted some pictures through various older posts, so scroll down. There are a bunch of Evie with her tube in. Even though I saw her for 1 week with it, it still breaks my heart to look at her. Your heart has been warned!

I got out twice yesterday- outside to play some "oh hell" with Jen, Matt, and Jason. Then also got out to Mt. Washington Tavern for a good dinner.

* Huge sigh *

Day 11

We started our post delivery hospital tour on July 6th and here we are on August 6th. Evie and I are on day 11 of hospital beds, interruptions, and doting nurses.

I'm not sure exactly what happened with Evie last night since I fell asleep at 9 pm and woke up to no baby in my room at 2 am. Before bed, I told Evie's nurses to attempt a bottle for me. I assumed Evie was hanging with the nurses. Susan (her nurse) got Evie to take 2 oz from a bottle! She said it wasn't easy, but she was determined to make it work.

I went back to sleep and didn't see Evie again until 4 am for a feeding. She fed ok (her typical 5) and went back to bed until 7 ish.

I'm still exhausted, but the 5 hours of uninterrupted sleep was appreciated last night.

Evie has more moments of being alert and happy now that the darn ng tube is out. I wish she would eat a little more. She will have her morning weigh in shortly. She was down to 8 lbs. 15 oz yesterday. Hoping she will be over 9 lbs again.

No testing or anything going on this weekend. The drs want to see if Evie will gain weight on her own. She still has good wet and poopy diapers.

Jason is bringing me back the camera today. I will try to post some pictures of Evie in her hospital glory. Evie's Aunt Jen and Uncle Matt will be here today! I was able to escape for a lunch out yesterday with a school friend. I hope to get another dose of the outside world today and tomorrow while family is here.

Sinai

Adios NG Tube!

The ng tube is out! Dr. Tuckman wants Evie to learn how to eat without it again. They will keep a close eye on her weight of course, but keeping the tube in is not the solution. THIS IS PROGRESS PEOPLE!!!

Evie has slept the afternoon away. My poor little nugget is so tired from another rough night and morning. I also like to think now that she is off formula, her belly is happy to have mommy's yummy milk in it. I wish I could be sleeping along with Evie. The sleeping conditions are rather crappy here. Just when I think I can shut my eyes, another person comes in. I do love shooting the crap with Evie's nurse though.

Before we were admitted, I set up 4 appointments with a speech pathologist who also does something called cranial sacral therapy. She sold me that she could help Evie. It sounds something along the lines of acupuncture- no medicine, looking at the big picture, no needles though. And we all know how much I love acupuncture. Kathleen called me twice since our arrival here begging me to call her. She is making a special trip into the hospital tonight to work with Evie.

OT will also be in first thing in the morning to work with us on bottle feeding and massage techniques for Evie's gas issues. She is her father's daughter with gas :) Just fart Evie, that's his solution!

I met with the GI doctors just now. They don't see anything wrong with her. She has colic, some reflux, and some difficulty getting her breathing down while feeding, which is causing bad gas. It sounds like they want to send us home soon and work it out at home. Great, but still no concrete answers. I asked why our pediatrician sent us to the hospital twice then and why she won't eat.... they told me to stop looking at the past. They are more worried about me I think at this point.

I'm thankful Evie doesn't have a disease or major issues, but why won't see eat and grow?! Another hospital visit and no answers... Hoping this cranial sacral therapy will help her since the doctors don't see any major issues.

hmmm... I'm a little unsettled about my recent chat with the doctors. But maybe Evie and I need to get away from all the stress of tube feedings, hospital stays, and get back on track. We never got a chance to try out her new frenulum.

Day 2 mid day update

First, I have to give a huge shout out to my school buddy, Erin, for lending me her school laptop. I had to turn in mine on Friday for good and we don't have one. And I'm also in 2009 where I don't have internet on my phone. Shhh RPCS people. Don't tell that Erin shared her laptop, sorry, tablet :) with me!!

So here we are 24 hours later. Evie was a big fuss yesterday. At least she showed the doctors and nurses what our life has been like. Jason and I were convinced the formula was the issue, but no one seemed to listen to us. We gave everyone a little 'tude because we are not here to have her gain weight. We are here to figure out why she won't eat on her own!!

We hung out with Evie for the afternoon then escaped/invited ourselves over to Kevin's house (that great work friend Erin's boyfriend...) for dinner. Kevin and Erin pumped us up with alcohol, yummy chicken stirfy from the grill, and conversation. We are so grateful for their support! It also helps we are now 5 minutes from Erin's place.

We came back to the hospital, got annoyed with the doctors, and left around 9:30 PM. I felt so guilty leaving Evie for the night, but we didn't have a private room and we just needed to get a good nights sleep.

Good night sleep. Ha. From 11:30-5:30. I guess that's not bad, but considering we are already emotionally drained, it wasn't enough. Back to the hospital this morning to see Evie off for her Upper GI screening

Jason stayed for a few minutes of it, but needed to make us some money. I stayed with Evie. We knew she wouldn't swallow the barium. The kid doesn't suck on a bottle! Also tried a syringe. No luck. Evie didn't tolerate the barium down her tube either. At this point I started to cry. They didn't find anything of major concern (a relief, but also frustrating). Maybe some reflux.

Back to the room where about 10 doctors of varying levels talked to me. I finally felt like I was heard. The attendant said to stop the tube feedings and go back to breastfeeding. Small victories!! Except I was sort of enjoying my new found freedom to drink more than a glass of wine and leave for a few hours. BUT she's off the million dollar formula and snuggling with me.

We moved to a private room. Yeah! Evie fed for 12 minutes from me. Double yeah! She seemed SO MUCH HAPPIER! However, we're not solving the main issue- why does she get so upset during some feedings?!

Evie's nurse is fabulous. She gave her a bath for me. Evie is now soundly sleeping after her long morning. I am enjoying a napa wrap from Eddie's again thanks to Erin for bringing me lunch.

The attendant isn't as much concerned about weight gain right now. He is now supporting me with getting her off the tube feedings asap. OT came to see me while I fed her. Randy will be back during my new feed to weigh Evie before and after. She will also come back tomorrow to work on bottle feeding with me. Another 2 people have seen my boobs... :)

Jason is back at work today. He was off yesterday. His boss has been so supportive of him caring for us. I will stay overnight now and Jason will be staying at home or possibly up in this area.

How can you help? Baltimore area peps- if anyone wants to bring me lunch or sit with me here, I'd love some company starting tomorrow. Today has been a whirlwind. And since most of you are out of town- your encouraging emails have helped (and made us cry). We are beyond emotionally drained at this point. I want someone to be me in multiple places. I need to be here now to feed Evie, but I also need/want to be home taking care of Parker and Jason. They don't eat without me there! My sister was a huge help doing our laundry yesterday. That's the kind of stuff we really need. Just trying to keep our life going while I'm in hospital land for who knows how long. Jen and Matt are coming this weekend.

We are now in room 372. I have my cell with me. We are trying to be good about our minutes and texts this month since this is our 2nd hospital stay this billing cycle. I am reading everything that comes in and appreciate it. It's just hard to keep calling and responding to everyone. More updates as they come in

Evie's Summer Hospital Tour 2011

Some people like to visit multiple amusement parks in a summer. Or maybe state parks. Evie wants to visit as many hospitals as she can.

By 9 weeks, we have been to 3 different hospitals for overnight visits. Our most recent vacation destination was St. Agnes Hospital in Baltimore. We have 3 blankets (all the same colors) from Howard County, Shore Memorial, and now St. Agnes. We were hoping for a transfer to Hopkins, but no such luck.

Evie doesn't want to eat as much as she should, resulting in hardly any weight gain in 1 month. She was admitted on Friday night. She was put on a NG feeding tube upon her arrival.

I'll skip all the details. Here's what we know:

- When my milk is put into her tummy, she can gain weight.
- She probably has reflux or something that is making her fussy while eating
- She has a good latch and will breastfeed. Just not taking in enough

After montioring and lots of doctors working together, scratching their heads, she was discharged on Monday night. It's a little bit of trial and error now.

We are back home, NG tube still in. I at least have an out if she will not breastfeed, bottle feed, etc. We can put it directly into her tummy. Obviously this is not a long term solution, but has allowed her to gain weight and learn how much fun it is to have a full belly! Hopefully she will start associate eating with feeling good again.

I went against doctor's orders and let her eat on demand overnight (they want every 3). Evie happily slept for 5.5 hours. I woke her up at this point to eat. She fed well, took some extra milk by NG tube, and was back down for another 3. Mom and G did not complain with 8 hours of sleep!

Evie's fussiness is getting better and she is eating more from me. G even got her to take 1 oz from a bottle (something that hasn't happened in weeks). I'm hopeful we are on the road to a happier baby. If not, everyone keeps telling me colic babies turn around at 12 weeks. 3 weeks to go.

Through everything Evie continues to be an absolutely adorable baby. The nurses and doctors LOVED her at St. Agnes. And she snuggled with all of them. She is smiling a lot more now. She keeps giving us something positive during a very difficult time.

I'll try to keep updating on the blog. Thank you for the emails, texts, prayers, and phone calls. I obviously need to tend to Evie first and am doing my best to keep everyone updated. I'll post some pictures soon. We have her 2 month appointment tomorrow.

Once an email went out to the faculty at school, I had more offers for help than I can manage. I am so thankful to have help for the next few weeks until we get back on track. It's nice being a teacher because all my co-workers are still off and eager to help.

Keep Evie in your thoughts that she will continue to eat well and gain weight.

St. Agnes

Good night!

It's about time to start the sleeping pills and say good night. One of my favorite midwives is on tomorrow :) I also like my nurse. Besides the IV ordeal, so far, so good. Hope to get some rest tonight.

Talk to you in the morning!